Charles The Technician

PCLinuxOS

Posted by Charles | Filed under Advice, Computer Repair, Rants, Technology

Previously I’ve been dabbiling through with Kubuntu 6.06 and found that it required a lot of “after market” work to get things the way you want them for basic use which the average user just wouldn’t want to do.

Granted there are things that make these “after market” changes alot more simple such as EasyUbuntu or Automatix but again, this requires some changes the average user (I’m talking windows user) isn’t going to be willing to put up with, that and I really don’t like the way Ubuntu implements root access. People shouldn’t be logging in as root, but if they need to for whatever reason, it’s nice to know that they actually can.

I also recently purchased a $46 850Mhz Dell Optiplex 150 with 256Mb ram, that was refurbished as a toy. I was going to turn it into a web server for an internal shop Wiki and FTP server that would allow us to leave files on this server without having to file share around to different computers and worry about logins.

I put PCLinuxOS on it after someone showed me it and I have to say I’m impressed. Right out of the box it looks like a viable alternative for anyone who is wanting to change from Windows to Linux and not have to worry about digging through a lot of .conf files if they don’t want too. I haven’t tried DVD playback or MP3 so I’m really curious if that is done right out of the box (it looks like DVD playing works out of the box as the necessary packages are pre-installed).

{rant}
The Digital Millenium Copyright Act (DMCA) is evil. Because the DVD format can be considered a method of encrytption for someone to create a free alternative that reads DVD’s they would have to break the encryption to make the software which in America would make them a CRIMINAL. Also to have DVD playback that this person created on your computer would make you a criminal. Though I don’t know of many times it being enforced, this law is stupid, tell your representatives to get rid of it…or in 5 years I’ll run for Senator…AND keep this blog.
{/rant}

So I went ahead and installed it on my main computer and I’m quite impressed. Ran DVD’s flawlessly, was a download and restart away from having the ATI drivers for my video card done up correctly. I put all this on the 3 partitions covering the first 120gigs of space on my 250gig HD. I’m leaving the rest just in the event I decide to go back to duel booting XP or want to try other distro’s for kicks.

In other news I got a kick out of learning how to mount a Apple computers HD for data recovery under Linux. That and I was able to get my hands on an iMac to iOpen the iDamn iThing. I found it to be an iExperience, they use philips head screws for the bottom plate, then switch over to hex screws further in, everything is so tight and close together I can’t believe anyone would want to work on the things but interesting enough once you get the right tools together (I had the hex screw drivers in my trucks toolbox), it wasn’t that difficult.  Not as easy as working on a regular desktop (2 screws and your in, 4 screws and the HD is out) but was extremely easy for a first time job.  I don’t remember the first time I opened up a desktop computer but I don’t remember it being that easy.  Then again I know the parts by sight now.  And that was about the time I formatted 2 floppies that contained a pinball game because I was told you had to format all floppies before use.

Yes at one point I was an idiot too…

If you want to play with Linux and give PCLinuxOS a try: Click Here

Love,
iCharles~

I’m going to write a virus.

Posted by Charles | Filed under Rants, Technology

Ok, so I’ve decided I’m going to write a virus, and here is what I want it to do.

1.) Insert it’s code into the Windows kernel using a virtual device.

2.) Replicate via sending out P2P file shares, sending emails out via their address books and a messengers. And other methods which I’ve yet to determine.

3.) Over the course of 3 days it checks your online connection weather you turn off your computer at night, if you have highspeed internet, or if your computer is a spambot. To determine best method of execution.

========Non-Spambot Plan of action=======

4.) Download Anti-Vir, Spybot Search and Destroy, Adaware SE and runs them and sets up a weekly scan / update into scheduled tasks.

========Spambot Plan of Action======

4.) Determine master machine, IRC channel and server being listened too, valid commands, determine bot-net C&C program used and attempt to hijack the network to download my virus.

5.) Report findings to abuse@whatever.com and to my alternative email I create for this project.

6.) Kill the windows registry if connects to the IRC channel within 7 days after cleansing.

====================================================

Making a virus that gets rid of all other Virii / spyware / adware / malware / whatever-the-fuckware will be fun in and of itself. But being arrested and taken to court over it will be the real fun.

“How do you plead?”

“Guilty, of an attempt to rid the world of spam.”

Who knows maybe I will get a presidential pardon…oh wait no probably not.

How to make a working* election machine.

Posted by Charles | Filed under Advice, Technology

* By working I mean “Secure, Redundant, Verifiable, Loop-hole-free, tamper-proof, free of BlueScreenOfDeath”

1.) Use Open source and publish under the GPL gaining a programing base of millions of programmers most of whom would love to get on a “mainstream” project. You are trusting the general population to come up with an application that is good for the general public to vote with. Ensure all code is double checked and commented for. I would rather trust the general public with widely open source code then a big name company which can hide a security hole either on purpose or by mistake via obscure closed source methods.

2,) Don’t use Windows (Blue screen of death = lost term paper for you = lost countless votes for a state.) If you need someone to actually explain why this is a bad idea then you’re too stupid to understand to begin with.

3.) Use redundant Client / Server checks. Person votes, that info packet is sent to 3-5 different servers which all send agreeing packets back to the client and display what the server saw. If all 3-5 servers do not agree with what was voted an election official is contacted and that vote doesn’t count but the person has to re vote.

Client Send Vote —> Servers receives vote —> Servers send vote back to client —> Client checks to make sure what was sent by it and what was received by the multiple servers is correct. –> If correct client displays a confirmation box —> if incorrect client is forced to re vote.

4.) Use a verifiable ticket system which prints the vote in plain English and a scan code behind a clear glass window that users must say TWICE is their vote. Once upon the server saying “This is what I received”, and Once upon the ticker tape being printed. Once that ticket is complete it is printed out and dispensed out front for the person to go hand in to the voting box.

Client Send Vote —> Servers receives vote —> Servers send vote back to client —> Client checks to make sure what was sent by it and what was received by the multiple servers is correct. –> If correct client displays a confirmation box —> if confirmed client prints that line —> Client prompts for confirmation –> if confirmed client sends a packet to the vote daemon stating what transaction number and vote is and again is checked by the client which resends a confirmation to the server then moves on –> if invalid printer prints a void ticker and notifies server to void that transaction.

5.) Don’t use touch screens. What the fuck is so hot about touch screens? Use a damn keyboard and a simple menu system. “Select your choice” with the default selected choice being blank so that a held down “enter” key won’t cause the first choice to be selected. Touch screens have to be calibrated and after the general public uses them so often they get dirty, and need recalibration. (Public Service Announcement: Wash your fucking hands)

6.) Use a “clean” network. Servers / Client machines will not have access to the internet nor any machines beyond the server s and client. Each server is firewalled where once each active client sends an “Election Closed” notice all ports used for the transfer of voting is closed. Vote Daemon is stopped and only outgoing traffic is allowed. Using an acceptable MAC address list predetermined and added into the system via a configuration file the server will run periodic checks to determine that the only systems online are voting clients voting servers and optionally a managed switch. The system will also use an innovative “Challenge and Password” system which rotates each time and is preconfigured into the systems. Server 1 will issue out a challenge broadcast packet and all systems will respond with their password for that round. If any passwords are similar then the network is compromised and will shut down.

7.) Use redundant delivery methods from the local voting locations to the parent locations. All servers must transmit all results multiple times complete with a MD5 hash of the data to be received. If any discrepancy appears in this information beyond a simple internet outage then all results must be hand delivered by 3 people from different political persuasions on a burned CD. This CD will be created regardless of the confirmation and will be delivered with the paper tickets.

8.) Redundant databases for vote tally. Use flat files and SQL databases which will be checked for consistency between the servers. Not MS-Access (If you have anything larger then a small database and you use Access as your database…you suck at life, just go ahead and hang your head in shame Diebold (link)…)

9.) All servers are Headless, meaning they do not have an option for a mouse, keyboard, or monitor. And is only activated by inserting a USB drive with an activation code pre-configured on it.

10.) Round Trip confirmation: Client 1 stays on. Once the upload is complete a confirmation number based on an algorithm of votes is called back to the local voting station. This number is 8 digits long and the algorithm is pre-determined by each state and truncated from the right (Cutting off digits on the right) if it exceeds 8 digits.

Example: Absolute Value of (Democratic votes Minus Republican Votes * 32)

This number is typed in to Client 1 which by this time is not networked with the servers but received the correct answer from the servers once the last “Close of Elections” was sent. If this number is correct it displays a confirmation and prints out the certifying letter needed to hand carry the CD’s containing the election results which will be signed by the certifying official and 3 witnesses.

If it cannot be certified then a recount by scanning the tickets is required.

The CD’s + The ticker tapes will then be hand carried to the county office. CD’s stored for archiving and verification if needed.
If the electronic means fails at any given time then all electronic voting ceases at that location as determined by the certifying official and reverts to “scantron” voting (Circle your selection with a number 2 pencil). The key is removed and the server dumps all data to the CD’s Anyone in a voting booth has to vote by paper as their votes will be purged for security reasons.

———————————————————-

I’m sure there are other idea’s, and ways to secure a vote, but this is what I came up with at midnight.

For any person that wants to start this project or use it, I make no claim of ownership or patent over these ideas. Use them as you please.

Best thing you can do is use Florida as a Beta Test, guaranteed if it can be fucked up, they can do it. Just remember to include in “error reports” in there to be studied by the general public.
Now if I can plan out a system in under 2 hours why can’t an entire corporation do the same? I understand the nature of “Vaporware” but come on…

Love,
Charles~

PS: Link to Free Software’s Foundation article on this and GPL V.3 that got me thinking (Link)

Best $400 router I ever paid $60 for.

Posted by Charles | Filed under Technology

Some of you may not have heard about the Linksys WRT54GL. This router has a history that I couldn’t do justice explaining but in essence Linksys made a router and put Linux on it, and was later persuaded (Sued?) to release the source code of the firmware under the GNU GPL.

We had been having problems with one of the routers at one of our hotels we supply internet out to with the need for restarts etc. After getting fed up with it I went ahead and made a personal purchase to get one here so I could play with it. I put it out at the hotel as a test bed and BAM, everything worked flawlessly. Since it runs linux the firmware was very stable. 0 restarts required and with QoS I’ve been able to keep the 11-o’clock-to-4-o’clock porn users from hogging up all the bandwidth out there keeping the business (wo)men from being able to check their email.

I restrained myself from having a redirect enforced for anyone running IE to the www.getfirefox.com page but it’s definatly a possibility in the future.

Further reading:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WRT54G
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DD-WRT
http://www.dd-wrt.com/

Love,
Charles~

What a hacker is, and isn’t

Posted by Charles | Filed under Technology

To: CharlesTheTech@hotmail.com
From: {Some fucktard}@aol.com
Subj: Hackers Suck

Fuckwad,

Its ppl like u that make ppl like me half to half virus software on my computer.
Pls go die in a fire.

Ok after finding an AOL kiddie who could translate that I figured I would make a post for this guy, who needs to learn how to spell and how to buy a vowel…it’s pEOplE, unless you’re nothing more then a “PP” with an L attached to it dickhead.
My last post I described myself as a hacker, I got a responce back that what I had done was wrong and that I shouldn’t be breaking into websites or people’s phones submitting so many messages.

Two problems…I never listed how I did it, two this person obviously doesn’t know the definition of hacking. The term hacker is used incorrectly almost every day as a “Breaking into things, cracking passwords, and being malicous”. despite popular belief, the correct term for that is “Cracking”. Sometime around the late 80’s early 90’s the term for cracking became popular to just say “Hacking”.

Really all hacking is, is the ability to make electronics do what you want it to do, or operate in a manner you find fitting. The ability to manipulate electronics.

“Cracking” tends to be what script kiddies and aol password phishers do, and think they are “eL33T (elite for those of you with an IQ with more then one digit). Those that feed the script kiddies are usually actual hackers that fiddle with “cracking” and really are shunned by their hacker breathren.

Basically what I did the other day was wrote an AutoIt script (Link) that would use the website altel already has in place to send a text message over and over in rapid succession. Send a message to the same number with a random number of random standard ascii characters. Using this script (right click, save as, and edit it using notepad or left click and view it in your web browser).

“But Charles, you’re feeding the script kiddies now!” No, that script will not work, I purposefully broke it in one place before putting it on my website and it’s a break that would be hard to spot even if you knew the language because it’s only one letter.

Took me 3 minutes to do. Is it malicious? Yes, but really all it was, was a macro that sent it over and over and over and over. Using the proxy I had in china it took 5 hours to send 1000.

I didn’t break into anything, nor did I do anything like “Cracking” and if your going to write an email to me calling me a hacker, atleast use the correct definition. Not all hackers are malicious, I’m just an asshole.

Love,
Charles~

Dell Tech support, a lesson in cutting costs.

Posted by Charles | Filed under Rants, Technology

Customer: This computer is still under warranty but they suggested I backed up all my information.

Me: What’s the problem?

Customer: Apparantly the motherboard is fried, it had a small explosion inside (see: www.badcaps.net) and a smell like ammonia, now it won’t start.

Me: Ok, one problem, this label here says warranty void if removed, I’m going to have to take your hard drive out of your computer to do this back up so I’m going to need to get verification and written permission from Dell to do this work, did they give you a support ticket number?

Customer: Blah blah blah

Me: (Soto voce) Must kill them all.

Now for anyone who has ever dealt with Dell Tech support you know exactly what I went through, get the service number (no problem), let it do it’s speal with making sure it’s under warranty then after 45 minutes of being on hold you get some fuckwit in India who think’s you don’t understand them when they are speaking Hindi (something about me needing to take a bath).

So after asking to speak with a level 2 tech in hopes that it would net me someone in America he says he can’t do that and hung up on me.

I hope he gets ran over by a camel.

Called again, asked for an operator in sales (cause you know, no company is going to leave their front line to Hindi speaking fuckwits) told them I’m sorry not making a sale, but I need to speak with someone concerning a warranty issue that has already been approved.

3 transfers (all English speaking though thank God) and an hour and a half later , I get Jim, a Manager in that department who sends me the email.

Saving money by out sourcing your customer support that you pride yourself on in commercials doesn’t say much for your company or your computers, cutting cost just to compete is fucking stupid.  Make quality and people will pay for quality, make shit and people will figure it out and quit buying.

Love,
Charles~

So called “Computer Guru’s” and Defrag…

Posted by Charles | Filed under Rants, Technology

There you are on your forum for soccer mom’s asking a question about why your computer is suddenly running slower lately and the resident computer guru chimes in with.

Defrag

It’s the sunday school equivalent answer as “Pray”, “Pray more”, “Read your Bible”. Typically one of those 3 answers will be acceptable in sunday school no matter what the question, the same can be said of “Defrag” when it comes to computer performance.

The only difference is, “Defrag” is the answer you look for when your trying to find the resident computer guru who actually has no clue what he’s talking about.

Typical reasons why computer performance slows down:

1.) Dust, debrii, cat hair, cigarette residue (no I’m not kidding, you should see some of the computers I see), etc. clogging up fans and your proccessors heat sync causing it to overheat.
2.) Spyware // Adware build up from collecting that 30 gigabytes of porn from your REAL X-rated soccer dad’s forums (you ladies should be ashamed).
3.) Bad capacitor slowly changing the voltage to your proccessor before it kicks the big one.
4.) You have Norton AND Mcafee installed and running at the same time (despite the compatibility warnings they both rattle off during install).
5.) You haven’t restarted your computer since you’ve owned it.
Note: Restarting your computer does not mean “pushing the on/off button on the “TV Thing”.
6.) You have your virus scanner instructed to do a full system scan every 30 minutes without a window to show it’s being done.
7.) You took dipshit’s advice and set defrag to completly defrag your computer once every 30 seconds.

If you were to completely format your hard drive (read: Delete everything) and start over by reinstalling windows onto a clean hard drive, the defragmenter program would report roughly 40% fragmentation. The average access time difference between a 5% fragmented computer and a 40% fragmentation hard drive is roughly 1.3ms (that’s .0013 seconds). 5% Vs. 60% fragmentation? 2.9ms (thats .0029 seconds). That’s an 80 gig 5400RPM hard drive (mid-grade).

until you get upwards of 80% defragmented your not even going to be able to see a remote difference in performance.

Those that claim defrag as the end all be all, first and last suggestion to any performance problem need to be put on the spot, it’s rediculous how rampant these prophets of the false god named defrag are allowed to run and still garner any form of respect.

Next time someone tells you to defrag, tell them where they can shove it or ask for someone not from India or reading from a damn script on their screen.