Charles The Technician

Idiot of the week: Psyco Bitch from Hell

Posted by Charles | Filed under Idiot of the week, Rants

Not tech related, much more personal. I figured you guys might enjoy this.

I’ve been dating a woman for the last month or so and up until about a little over a week ago it was all going great. I’m planning on starting college in the fall so really getting attached to someone locally isn’t on my list of things I want to do. So primarily my aims have been to be somewhat of a social person. I can’t just sit over a computer all day, on IRC, or in one of the plethora of forums I visit (or am staff on).

So along comes Vicky, I met Vicky while I was out on lunch at one of the local coffee shops about 2 blocks down from the shop. The place was crowded so I asked if I could sit with her. We talked and were having a decently good time. I asked if she would like to have lunch some other time and we did.

Somethings you should know about me, up until last may I was a very religious person. Now, not so much, however I retain some of the morals. You probably think that I’m just some asshole on the internet but really, this page is where you see the worst of me. This site is supposed to be that way, everyone has an asshole side to them and this is mine. Now what I’m getting at is that one of the morals I’ve retained is, I prefer to be a virgin until I’m married.

My initial observation of Vicky was that she was a very down to earth girl, brought up in a Christian home had held on to what she knew to be good and let the rest fall to the way side. She was a tom boy of sorts which is always a plus and didn’t appear to have any of disqualifying factors in what I look for in a woman.

Date after the lunch date (which I consider to be the first date because lunch dates are typically reserved for platonic relationships such as friendships or acquaintances however dinner dates are more for the romantic sort.) this subject just happened to rear it’s head and I stated quite matter of factly exactly where I stood on the subject.

This is where it all the signs of the shit storm that was to come began to appear.

I’m usually very good at reading people, it comes naturally and is enhanced by the training I received in the army especially in the interrogation training. I could not believe how far off I was. By the 2nd real date (Read one lunch date, second dinner date) it became clear to me that she was dating another person, this didn’t bother me because I knew were not exclusive or going steady or whatever the current terminology is so I didn’t care. She also made it a habit of trying to sneak sex into the discussion whenever it was possible or some sort of joke. In itself it’s nothing wrong, however the intentions made it so. She was attempting to get me all worked up.

By the 3rd date she seemed to have lost her self confidence and baited me to compliment her almost throughout the entire night.

By the 4th date she had no clue what she was doing, she appeared nervous and deep in thought about something else the entire date. She was able to carry on casual conversation but anything that required thought was met with monosyllabic answers.

At the end of the 4th date as I was leaving I gave her a kiss and walked away. Not but 5 steps out she tells me to stop.

“You can stop playing your game about being a virgin, and your wanting to move slowly in the relationship, come inside I’m tired of playing games.”

She had surprised me I was pretty sure that such an idea was impossible considering the seriousness of which we talked about it, “No, I was actually serious about all that.”

She seemed a little phased but said, “Give it up already, come inside. Look, I’ll admit I’ve been playing some games with you as well, for instance, I’m not dating anyone else. I just wanted you to think you might lose me and to pass on the thought that I’m a little more valuable then you thought. I know you are basically doing the same thing, pretending to be a virgin so that I think sex with you is something special, and waiting till now to kiss me has been part of your plan to starve me for affection and get me hot and bothered and ready to go at the drop of a hat”

I was dumbstruck, “No, no, I’m very serious about all that, it’s not some game, I’ve never been much for playing games in relationships. If I’m picking on you it’s one thing and the game ends quickly, I shoot pretty straight.” I kissed her on the cheek and left.

Up the road a ways my cell phone started ringing, I couldn’t find it, it had fallen out of my pocket and worked it’s way behind my seat. So I drove on home. The voicemail was pretty much a repeat of all of it and calling me a “fucking player” and a few other nonsensical things. It was hard to pick up some of it as she was half shreaking half screaming through it all.

I waited and called her back the next day to make sure it wasn’t all a big joke, but my calls never got through.

For about the next week I would get a voice mail or text message telling me how big a jerk I am.

Hrm…this is an idiot of the week post might as well do it right.

Reasons you are an idiot!~
1.) You never learned that people quit listening to you when you scream.
2.) Your choice of men and learned behaviour concerning games they play has led you to believe that any man over the age of 14 who claims he is a virgin is a liar and is saying so to get you to sleep with him.
3.) You require sex to feel loved.
4.) You went from zero to psyco in .3 seconds.
5.) You didn’t give me prier warning so that I could time it correctly.
6.) You have tried to break into my webserver 4 times and can’t figure out why your browser is redirecting you to lemonparty (cause you just visited 11 times in a row to the same page.)
7.) You do the same thing over and over expecting a different result (this is a sign of insanity) but keep being forwarded to lemonparty.

Fuck you (Not in the literal sense)
Charles~

PS: What is worse? The idea that there are actually guys out there that pretend to be virgins to get laid, or that there are enough of them out there that predicting this kind of behavior is a learned behavior for some women?

Legislation to push for: Computer Operator License

Posted by Charles | Filed under Rants

I swear to God there is some disease that comes around, and the carrier is the keyboard or something. Why is it that when someone gets within 5 feet of a keyboard they all the sudden lose all common sense? Some people are immune to this, but most aren’t.

Case Study 1: Update my antivirus? Why?

Lady calls me up the other day and wonders why her computer is fucking filled with pop ups and telling her to download this program or that program to get rid of spyware / adware…
Public Service Announcement: If a POP UP is trying to sell you something to REMOVE POP UP’s it’s PROBABLY not legit. It’s like buying protection from the mafia, so that the mafia doesn’t kick your ass…except the mob still kicking your ass.

…I ask her what antivirus / spyware / adware protection programs she runs. She says with confidence (I was impressed), AVG, Adaware, and Spybot S&D.
So her computer winds up in the shop cause I’m not even going to begin trying to fix this with her over the phone. First thing I see, 3827 scans ran on Adaware, last update…..not within the last year. Spybot? Same thing. AVG? Been bitching at her for the last 384 days, it was asking if it would be better for her if it just uninstalled itself.

I tell her she has to update these tools and she goes balistic, “I’m college educated and I work at {X_Named_Lawfirm} and I know how to administrate a computer”.
No lady you don’t, infact I should have dedicated an idiot of the week to you but instead you got rolled up here with the other assclowns. I hope you are happy

Case Study 2: More space = Faster Computer!

Guy calls me up and doesn’t understand what why his computer wouldn’t work, it was working last night, whole shebang.
Me: “What was the last thing you were doing to your computer when it stopped working?”

Him: “I was deleting files I didn’t think I needed to try and speed up my computer.”
OK first things first, more HD space does not mean faster computer(Link!), GET THIS IDEA OUT OF YOUR HEAD, WHERE THE FUCK DOES IT COME FROM I WANT TO KNOW SO I CAN LOBOTOMIZE THE PERSON THAT STARTED THIS.

Second, if it’s in a folder called “Windows” or “System” or “System32″ or “Don’t fucking delete me douchenugget” then it’s probably NOT a good idea to delete it. Was bad enough you had to go through a “Naughty Naugthy User, nothing for you to do here” warning when you try and browse through there.

Case Study 3: “I overclocked my modem and added more CPU to my SATA floppy drive”

People that come in the shop and try and wow me with terminology and wind up butchering it up so bad I cant keep a straight face.

1.) Shut the fuck up.
2.) In very simple terms that you would use with your child tell me what error you are getting or what the problem appears to be to you.
3.) Don’t tell me how to fix it.

This isn’t a new phenomenon but really, people act like they know what the hell they are talking about when they wouldn’t have a clue if it came up and took them out for dinner and a movie fucked them and didn’t return their call. (Xalpharis you bitch, return my phone calls!(LINK!) (Please?))

So here is my solution…
Mandatory licensing computer operators and admins. No license? No login. Why? Because every operating system forces basic users to be admins, here is a hint: GRANDMA IS NOT A FUCKING ADMINISTRATOR. If you cannot demonstrate an ability to administrate a computer you are not allowed to do it unsupervised. Yeah it may be your car, but you better be licensed on it to use it.

Class E license: Basic Windows, can only run what a Class B Admin has installed and approved for use on their computer, has 0 admin privlages. No Internet Access. No age limit.

This is the basic license, no cost, no test, you are required to name the Class B admin that will be administrating your computer prior to you being given your login. Think of it as your learner’s permit.

Class D license: Basic Windows, can install software that does not require admin privileges, can change printers, all things that a Class E can do. Limited Internet Access, Class B approved websites + Email + Limited IRC, instant messaging. Is allowed to access files from CD or other storage device. No age limit

This is the real user license, $25. Basic test dealing with anti-virus, system files, file formats, how to report error messages

Class C license: Admin Learner’s permit. Everything Class D has, can install own software, full internet access, cannot host websites or admin remote servers, can use existing services (Myspace), a Class B Admin may at his/her discretion setup a website or blog for a class C user to post into. May Moderate forums, may OP channels in IRC. Full admin Age limit: 17 years old.

Requires a test dealing with all of the class D material, privacy, safety online, command line operations, naming parts by sight and what they do. (No charge if license granted within 2 years of Class D license)

Class B (Admin) License: Competent Windows Administrator, Full admin access on any computer he is listed as a admin on by a Class D or lower user. Has remote access to all Class E users computer that list him as an admin, must be onsite to see Class D or Class C users computers. May operate 10 websites, no shell access on websites, only preconfigured control panels. Exceptions to this are those packages installed by a Class A admin and signed off as secured, and claim to update as needed. May Administrate Forums and may OP IRC networks.

Test involves Server security, Firewall use, IPv4 and IPv6 principles, diagnosing network problems, basic networking, restoring from backups, how to backup, remote administration methods, batch file usage, command line administration, etc.

Class A (Admin) License: Competent Windows and *nix Administrator, Full admin on any computer his Class B admin’s has access to but only if Class B is logged in. No restrictions but is audited twice a year to ensure that all servers he is administrating over are up to date, 2 strikes and you are out (Class C License instead of Class A).

Test involves more indepth version of the Class B license, use of BASH, routing tables, IRC network operations, scripting, some basic programming.

Then like licenses have restrictions they also have Endorcements.

Programmer: Allowed restrictions of one line up from his own, must take a test to ensure proficiency and understanding in a programming language.

Hardship: Lives in an area lacking administrators, has full admin access of own computer, but same internet privlages of their current license. Is subject to removal if an administrator moves in or is graduated within an acceptable distance.

College Student: Has full internet access, may not admin websites unless license class allows.

Wifi:  You can operate a wireless network, must be atleast Class C+

etc.

For those of you yelling at me to update…FUCK YOU.

Love,

Charles~

Idiots of the month: Us, or so ISP’s think.

Posted by Charles | Filed under Idiot of the week, Rants

I’m really interested in the legality of this, or if it would even be a good court case. You’ve probably heard all this discussion about net neutrality but really this is only vaguely related.

I’m talking about hard limits on the amount of data you can download or upload through your ISP.

It has been proven over and over that just about every ISP starts to throttle your connection or cut it off completely after an arbitrary amount. The usual kill spot is 100 Gigabytes some go as high as allowing 100 down and 100 up before trottling or shutting down completely.

However in selling you a 1.5Mb/s line with no stipulation on download limits or upload limits in any contract or user agreement is the same as (after simple conversion) selling you a:

1.5Mb/s = 0.1875 MB/s contract.
(8 Megabit’s = 1 Megabyte)

or in terms of months, 0.1875 MB/s * 60 seconds * 60 minutes * 24 hours * 30 days = 486,000 MB/month.

in the future I’ll use the number 2592000 as 60*60*24*30 = 2592000 to show the whole conversion from seconds to months

486,000 MB/month connection. Which comes in at around 474.61 GB/month (due to the whole 1024 MB = GB.)
Remember how we said there were hard coded limits your ISP do not tell you about? Well lets use math! (it works bitches)

( X / 8 ) * 2592000 = Y
For converting Xbits per second to Xbits per month

or

( Y / 2592000 ) * 8 = X
For converting Xbits per month to Xbits per second

X = Units(in bits) per second
Y = units(in bytes) per month

Because there is a 100 Gigabyte limit per month (100 X 1024=102400 to turn it into Megabytes (102400 Megabytes)) we can toss that in as X and figure out your actual speed per second rate.

(102400 / 2592000) * 8 = .31604 (and about 20 more decimal places)

So really all you have is a .31 Mb/s line that is burstable up to 1.5 Mb/s if 1.5 Mb/s is the advertised rate.

Burtstable is a term used a lot in bandwidth, especially on shared T1’s. When working out contracts if one sold you a T1 with full 1.5Mb/s throughput but really only let you have 512Kb/s burstable up to 1.5Mb/s (when conditions favored) they would get their asses handed to them in court. It’s Fraud.

So why do ISP’s get away with selling their service as if we have 1.5 Mb/s when we really only have a .316Mb/s line burstable to 1.5Mb/s?

Damn good question, I’d like to find out myself.

Reason we are idiots

1.) We sign a contract allowing us to pick up a gallon of milk a week but are shutdown if we drink more then half a gallon a month, and don’t care or don’t question why.
2.) We live in a country that is more then happy enough to sue but we don’t.

Virginia Tech shooting.

Posted by Charles | Filed under Rants

Most likely you have heard of the Virginia Tech shootings by a young man of questionable mental health and the uproar concerning that.

If not go turn on the T.V. I’m sure every channel is still covering it.

Now I have a few basic understandings of the situation.

1.) Schools are designated “No Gun Zones”, IE: it is illegal to carry a firearm onto campus.
2.) It is illegal to murder someone, let alone 30+
3.) The police presence necessary to protect innocent lives from being killed would far exceed that of an Orwellian government.
4.) The first shooting fit the Modus Operandi of a domestic shooting, not a spree killer. This was not a mass killing in 1 stage, but a 2 stage plan with 1st appearing to not be a spree killing.
5.) Virginia Tech’s campus is about 2,600 acre and has roughly 25,000 people on it at any given time.
6.) Making Virginia Tech a nicely sized town.
7.) It is standard operating procedure to seek out the last one to have seen a murder victim alive as your first lead, that this lead did not turn out the way police wanted does not mean it is a “bad lead” or a “false lead”, it is what helps solve crimes in 99% of all cases.
8.) The weapons were not purchased legally, he lied on the application, to call it a legal purchase is erroneous, and the reporting methods to keep such a lie from being accepted would remove patient doctor confidentiality.

Given all this, how should everyone reacted? Is it responsible to lock down an entire city because of a domestic violence shooting? Then why this shooting?

For the last week and probably for the rest of the year you are going to hear people blame everyone and their dog. However there is only one person to blame, and that is the shooter.

You will hear discussions on gun control and how people will use this tragedy to politicize the event. However no law of prohibition has ever worked, nor would arming every citizen be wise. One would argue that taking away the ability of one to defend themselves through their 2nd amendment rights by labeling an area a “gun free zone” should put those who labeled it such as responsible for protecting those inside the “gun free zone” but this is in and of itself absurd unless you treat the “gun free zone” as a prison, with central entrances and access control it is ineffective to even try as the efficiency of getting people in and out and maintaining high standards of student safety will not work.

Basically, if someone is determined to kill you or anyone and it is a congested area, that does not contain an Orwellian level police force, then there is no possible way to prevent this sort of tragedy.

I say all this for one reason. Right now we should be investigating the situation and how to better react or even be proactive in stopping such things from happening in the future. We should make intelligent decisions concerning ways to prevent this after the investigation is complete. Anyone who rushes to judgment at this point in time is doing so foolishly. It is this sort of policy making that erodes basic rights, by allowing policy to be backed by fear of a recent event.

And a message for those that believe the perfect answer is to make all guns illegal except those wielded by the government and government agencies. The 2nd amendment does not exist primarily so that one has the right to defend themselves against other citizens, it exists so that a population can defend against a tyrannical government, in a country where habeas corpus is suspended or altered, wiretapping is permitted and if by chance you appear a threat to the US or it’s people can be labeled a terrorist and have 4th amendment rights suspended, I believe the last thing we as a people should cry out for is a removal of the 2nd amendment.

Charles~

Correction: Number 8 above may or may not be true. The state law and federal requirements are not very well matched up. This would be a very good cause for updating the federal requirements to match current psychiatric practices. Thank you “Agripa” for pointing this out.

Why I hate stupid people.

Posted by Charles | Filed under Rants

/Political_blog on

Some of you may have read about the Asian Weekly article which was recently pulled from their website after having being published called “Why I hate blacks”.

There is a great uproar over this saying it’s wrong, etc etc. To quote Speaker Pelosi (D-San Francisco):

“Speech that promotes hate has no place in San Francisco or anywhere in our country. Eng’s words were not only offensive to African Americans, but to all Americans.”

This coming from the leader of the self proclaimed “Progressive party”. “Progressive towards what?” is my question. First we ban and condemn anything that sounds hateful. Next we ban and condemn anything that is objectionable. That’s progress right? No.

It stands diametrically opposed to the freedom of speech. What is amazing about all this is that this whole situation proved Kenneth Eng’s point. No one gave a shit when he said he hated asians, no one gave a shit when he wrote about other races, but the second he mentioned “blacks” all the sudden all hell broke lose.

You defend the radical ends of speech because then you do not have to defend the more acceptable forms of speech. If you give up ground, there is only more ground to lose.

Kenneth Eng has every right to say what he wants. Asian weekly has every right to publicize it if they so choose, they don’t have to because it is THEIR publication.

Kenneth Eng has my respect at this very moment, because he has YET to apologize for what he believes. Despite national news and even polytic’ians speaking out against him he has stood up for what he believes. I can’t stand his views but I will defend to the death his rights to hold them and express them.

The publication I have no respect for, you let that shit fly and print it for 4 months then when a politically correct temper tantrum is thrown you say “we don’t stand for this.” and remove it from your website and fire Kenneth Eng. You don’t stand for anything, you bow down to the whims of the public, you have no testicular fortitude.

Political correctness does not and will not ever over ride the Constitution, for all you dipshits in office and elsewhere who feel otherwise, FUCK YOU.

/political_blog off

Love,
Charles~

PS: For those of you that need “Fair and balanced” all Polytic’ians suck.

Edit:  The title for this post was meant for another posting, not sure why it was put here but to be honest…it works too.  If I go and edit it though it’s gonna screw up people reading this by RSS so I’m going to leave it alone for now.

Link of the…well shit, just a link I found.

Posted by Charles | Filed under Rants

Friend linked me this website it’s an advertisment for Philip’s bodygroom.

Once you watched the intro mouse over the “Main Menu” on the left and check out: Check them all out, the “Basics” isn’t all that great but the rest is fucking hilarious.  Oh and watch the Music Video.
No, I wasn’t paid for this, for all I know the product sucks.

http://shaveeverywhere.com/

good for 15 minute laugh

What a week

Posted by Charles | Filed under Rants

Had 20 computers come through the shop this week. I’m typically the only technician in this shop but we had to call in one of our part time Technicians. Had a couple systems which came through because they had “invalid windows” on them from when we had a shady technician that installed a bootleg copy of XP on computers. About once a week been getting phone calls from people with it.

I wonder how many other small shops have that problem. We’ve been doing the customers right and taking care of them by either reinstalling XP home with a valid license which we purchase or showing them how we never charged them for it in the first place and going half and half on it for their trouble.

We lost a customer from our dial up that I really can’t say I’m going to miss. Once when the entire internet backbone in my city went out (you had no internet connection unless it was satalite) he called every 5 minutes screaming at me. I couldn’t diagnose the problem because he was calling so often finally I just forwarded the phones to one of our cell phones with a message that we are looking into it and figured out it wasn’t our problem.

This same customer left his computer in our shop for a day before calling up every hour to check up on it when we had 5 computers in front of him and quoted 3-4 days for work to be completed.

This same customer that was using our office number for his dial up internet (his modem was dialing our voice lines in the office) and called and cussed out our accountant because “Your service never works” and when she figured out he was dialing the wrong number AND using the wrong password he said “What do you know, you’re just a woman.”

The same customer who became indignant over all this and disconnected from our internet service and picked up his computer from the shop prior to it’s work being done and then came back 2 months later with his computer in the same state I had left it and no internet connection saying he was sorry.

This same customer called our accountant today and stated he wasn’t paying his bill and wasn’t going to come in to fill out the disconnect forms.

Needless to say, I’m glad to see his dumbass go.

Fuck you,
Charles~

Attention all spammers

Posted by Charles | Filed under Rants

I’ve been hit pretty hard by spam here lately so I decided to add something a little interesting to my .htaccess file that some of you might like.

#Spammers in Amsterdam
RewriteCond %{REMOTE_ADDR} ^85\.255\.
RewriteRule !^http://www.lemonparty.org$ http://www.lemonparty.org/ [R=301,L]

I’m autoforwarding you all to lemonparty.

Fuck you,
Charles~