Charles The Technician

Idiot of the week: Psyco Bitch from Hell

Posted by Charles | Filed under Idiot of the week, Rants

Not tech related, much more personal. I figured you guys might enjoy this.

I’ve been dating a woman for the last month or so and up until about a little over a week ago it was all going great. I’m planning on starting college in the fall so really getting attached to someone locally isn’t on my list of things I want to do. So primarily my aims have been to be somewhat of a social person. I can’t just sit over a computer all day, on IRC, or in one of the plethora of forums I visit (or am staff on).

So along comes Vicky, I met Vicky while I was out on lunch at one of the local coffee shops about 2 blocks down from the shop. The place was crowded so I asked if I could sit with her. We talked and were having a decently good time. I asked if she would like to have lunch some other time and we did.

Somethings you should know about me, up until last may I was a very religious person. Now, not so much, however I retain some of the morals. You probably think that I’m just some asshole on the internet but really, this page is where you see the worst of me. This site is supposed to be that way, everyone has an asshole side to them and this is mine. Now what I’m getting at is that one of the morals I’ve retained is, I prefer to be a virgin until I’m married.

My initial observation of Vicky was that she was a very down to earth girl, brought up in a Christian home had held on to what she knew to be good and let the rest fall to the way side. She was a tom boy of sorts which is always a plus and didn’t appear to have any of disqualifying factors in what I look for in a woman.

Date after the lunch date (which I consider to be the first date because lunch dates are typically reserved for platonic relationships such as friendships or acquaintances however dinner dates are more for the romantic sort.) this subject just happened to rear it’s head and I stated quite matter of factly exactly where I stood on the subject.

This is where it all the signs of the shit storm that was to come began to appear.

I’m usually very good at reading people, it comes naturally and is enhanced by the training I received in the army especially in the interrogation training. I could not believe how far off I was. By the 2nd real date (Read one lunch date, second dinner date) it became clear to me that she was dating another person, this didn’t bother me because I knew were not exclusive or going steady or whatever the current terminology is so I didn’t care. She also made it a habit of trying to sneak sex into the discussion whenever it was possible or some sort of joke. In itself it’s nothing wrong, however the intentions made it so. She was attempting to get me all worked up.

By the 3rd date she seemed to have lost her self confidence and baited me to compliment her almost throughout the entire night.

By the 4th date she had no clue what she was doing, she appeared nervous and deep in thought about something else the entire date. She was able to carry on casual conversation but anything that required thought was met with monosyllabic answers.

At the end of the 4th date as I was leaving I gave her a kiss and walked away. Not but 5 steps out she tells me to stop.

“You can stop playing your game about being a virgin, and your wanting to move slowly in the relationship, come inside I’m tired of playing games.”

She had surprised me I was pretty sure that such an idea was impossible considering the seriousness of which we talked about it, “No, I was actually serious about all that.”

She seemed a little phased but said, “Give it up already, come inside. Look, I’ll admit I’ve been playing some games with you as well, for instance, I’m not dating anyone else. I just wanted you to think you might lose me and to pass on the thought that I’m a little more valuable then you thought. I know you are basically doing the same thing, pretending to be a virgin so that I think sex with you is something special, and waiting till now to kiss me has been part of your plan to starve me for affection and get me hot and bothered and ready to go at the drop of a hat”

I was dumbstruck, “No, no, I’m very serious about all that, it’s not some game, I’ve never been much for playing games in relationships. If I’m picking on you it’s one thing and the game ends quickly, I shoot pretty straight.” I kissed her on the cheek and left.

Up the road a ways my cell phone started ringing, I couldn’t find it, it had fallen out of my pocket and worked it’s way behind my seat. So I drove on home. The voicemail was pretty much a repeat of all of it and calling me a “fucking player” and a few other nonsensical things. It was hard to pick up some of it as she was half shreaking half screaming through it all.

I waited and called her back the next day to make sure it wasn’t all a big joke, but my calls never got through.

For about the next week I would get a voice mail or text message telling me how big a jerk I am.

Hrm…this is an idiot of the week post might as well do it right.

Reasons you are an idiot!~
1.) You never learned that people quit listening to you when you scream.
2.) Your choice of men and learned behaviour concerning games they play has led you to believe that any man over the age of 14 who claims he is a virgin is a liar and is saying so to get you to sleep with him.
3.) You require sex to feel loved.
4.) You went from zero to psyco in .3 seconds.
5.) You didn’t give me prier warning so that I could time it correctly.
6.) You have tried to break into my webserver 4 times and can’t figure out why your browser is redirecting you to lemonparty (cause you just visited 11 times in a row to the same page.)
7.) You do the same thing over and over expecting a different result (this is a sign of insanity) but keep being forwarded to lemonparty.

Fuck you (Not in the literal sense)
Charles~

PS: What is worse? The idea that there are actually guys out there that pretend to be virgins to get laid, or that there are enough of them out there that predicting this kind of behavior is a learned behavior for some women?